"Scalpers respond with a metaphysical question: Who is a true Miley Cyrus fan? Anyone who watches Hannah Montana? Someone who shrieks ecstatically at the mention of Cyrus’s name? Who swoons? Scalping provides a way to calibrate a fan’s passion by what she is willing to pay for a ticket. 'I love Miley $50 worth.' 'Well, I love her $100 worth.' "
Add in an "OMG" and this sounds like something I'd write for Seventeen.