Friday, February 6, 2009

25 Things About Ze

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you that absolutely no one cares about except for you, because you're uninteresting. At the end, choose 25 unsuspecting and unfortunate people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you, should you choose to engage in this wonderful feat of narcissism. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you, but mainly because I want to talk/think/write/share about myself. Me me me. You are obviously exempt if you have already posted.

To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) click publish, then cry yourself to sleep. Here goes!!
1. I wet the bed for the majority of my childhood... and last night. But that was an accident..2. I aborted your child. Sorry I didn't consult you beforehand.3. I was born with both male and female genitalia4. My great-uncle Rod used to call me Bumblebee and touch me inappropriately5. When I said "it's not you, its me".. yah, about that, it wasn't me. It was totally you. You needed to shower more often.6. I used my roommates razor to shave my special parts in the shower7. When I was born, I had a giant tumor on my neck the size of a tennis ball. They tell me this was my biological twin. I saved him in a jar, which sits next to my bed and whom I refer to as "Mr. Fred."8. I um rally tarable @ spellin & gramar, but whatevs - in like 5 years well be talkin in chat tongue. g2g!!*~*~9. I slept with a guy so I could use his employee discount at Abercrombie10. I had a crush on my second cousin in middle school at which point I learned we were related. Alright, I still have a crush on them.11. My favorite snack to eat alone is dry toast with marinara sauce and gefilte fish. Yummmm.12. I think about Nick Jonas in the shower. Sometimes I imagine all three of them touching me with their soft pre-pubescent hands.13. My Mother loves my sisters more. She told me.14. I enjoy picking my nose.15. Sometimes on warm, spring days, when the birds are chirping and the flowers are blooming and the grass is green and freshly cut, I like to sit outside and lay on the ground and look up at the sky, and at the clouds, and think deep thoughts about, like, life and shit.16.  I'm a bitch sometimes, and I don't think I should feel bad about it. I'm just honest. I am. And that's fine. I don't feel bad at all. Whatever.17. One time I hooked up with this really cute guy, but then I sharted in his bed, and so I could never see him again. I'm pretty sure we would have been soulmates otherwise.18. I live with regrets. I regret a lot, actually. 19. My favorite actor is Mel Gibson - the man is so timeless. 20. Sometimes people ask me why I have a weird look on my face. Generally I am thinking about the ways I could kill them, and what I would do with their bodies. 21. I still sleep with a light on, because I'm afraid, but more because I hate the environment and want to waste as much energy as possible. 22. My favorite book is US Weekly's Style Issue.23. I can't stand the sight of traffic cones, ugh. They are so orangey and triangle-y.24. I think I'm wanted for tax evasion. Add that to the outstanding warrants... LOL!25. One time this girl was being a total beyotch to me, so I ran over her cat with my car. Then I backed up and did it again. Whoopsieeeee. 

1 comment:

Sandy Finkelstein said...

well i know that these mainly seem ironic, but let's be honest, how many of them are true?